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The Email of Doom: sent to Tha Shiv at Crown PublishingHoly crap. It's done.

720 pages.
138,400 words.
772,504 characters.
Add in the 22,300 words that didn't even make it in, and I typed well over 1,000,000 characters to make this bitch.

Allow me a moment to pry my ass away from this chair. I think it's grown into my gluteus maximums like a triangle's tail sinking into Perry's junk. I'm done. I'm done. I'm done.

Life is full of great moments, those times where your chest fills with the pride of knowing you busted your ass and put on a blue-collar performance worthy of an AFL-CIO endorsement. CONTAGIOUS goes to the publisher, warts and all, and no matter what you all think of it the book, this blood-spotted keyboard is proof that I put everything I had into making this the best novel possible.

The rush I'm experiencing right now is indescribeable. This is what it felt like to some Egyptian dude when he dropped that last block onto the pyramid, and then said, "Hey, Ezekiel, it's Miller Time, brah." So much work went into this. So many life changes in the last five months. The passing of a beloved dog, the illness of a family member. The Evil Queen returns from Michigan tomorrow, and I can finally dedicate my full attention to her in her time of crisis. Life giveth, and life taketh away.

I have put my very being into this rat bastard. I want it to rock you like Queen would if Freddy Merc were still with us. I want it to lock the breath in your throat, grab your privates in a not-so-nice way, make your stomach flip and your nips all hard and tingly. I want it to smash you flat like a Matt Wallace snap-souplex.

Above all, I want CONTAGIOUS to entertain you.  You Damn Dirty Junkies have no idea what you all mean to me, and I hope this one hits you so hard you fly into the ditch with your empty shoes still on the road. CONTAGIOUS is my love letter to y'all.

And for you aspiring novelists asking if this level of committment and sacrifice is worth it? Yeah, it is. 

I am your FDO™, and I do work.

Click here to download the short story THE TORPEDO

This story originally ran on Mur Lafferty's "Stories of the Third Wave" fiction podcast. I wanted to get it in our feed for the Junkies who do not listen to Mur's awesome stuff. THE TORPEDO is a humerous take on some conventions of the superhero genre. I originally made this story to help promote Mur's book "Playing for Keeps," but liked the results so much I though you might like to hear it. In other words, I thought it was funny as fuck. Enjoy.

TECHTARD™ UPDATE:
Initially, I accidentally posted the link to Mur's PDF of the book instead of the MP3 link, so the PDF may have downloaded to your pod-catcher. Downloaded a second time, you see, because I already posted the PDF once. That's just how we TechTards™ roll. Well now I have the correct link in here, so listen in already.

Hailing from Scunthorpe, North Lincolinshire in the UK, Matthias Liley is the officlal Junkie #4,000. A nice little international flare, which is good, because Scunthorpe (like every other city) will also be destroyed in the Sigler Ascension. Sorry about that, Matthias, but them's the breaks.

In a nice turn of events, Junkie #4,000 listed his picture and all his info, as a good Junkie should. 

This is a pretty big deal, Junkies. A dedicated army, 4,000 strong. This is a huge number for a realtively unknown author. It's like having 4,000 Rock-em Sock-em Robots at your disposal. Many, many more listen to the stories and enjoy them, but you brave 4,000 are the Shock Troops of Siglerism! HAIL!

Leather Pants & Stripper Tats: This is horror?On my latest blog post over at AMC TV's website, we dive into a potential resurgence of the misty-eyed romantic vampire flick. With Stephanie Myer's "Twilight" hitting the screens in november, are we being prepped for an invasion of ass-kicking supernatural heroines who moonlight as Deja Vu strippers? Judging by the book covers of some bestselling novels, it looks quite possible.

Get thee to AMC, read, click "recommend this" and leave a comment! Comments are turned off on this post, so if you got something to say say it over at the AMC blog.

Click here to download Mur Lafferty's
Playing for Keeps novel as a free PDF.

Download Mur Lafferty's novel Playing for Keeps as a free PDF novel. This novel takes a fun look at the role of "regular people" in a city infested with superheros. It's got a major liberal bent, i.e., the government and authority are baaaad things!, but the look a super-impact on our day-to-day life is great. Things like higher insurance rates, superfights causing commute-crippling traffic jams, and what about those supers who only have ho-humm powers

BloodCast Season II: Click on the cover to see it full-size. Pretty!The parade of goodies continues in this, the Best Sigler Week Evah. Thanks to the production talents of Arioch Morningstar, BloodCast Season II is now posted at Podiobooks.com. That's right, more free fiction for you. Now most of you have heard these stories already, but here's what we have up now:

• Hero
• Kissyman & Screamin' Jesse Dupre (Nominated for a 2008 Parsec Award)
• The Bag Man (the very first story run on the Pseudopod horror fiction podcast)
• Passenger Novella (Nominated for a 2008 Parsec Award)
• Chuckles Mulrooney: Attourney for the Damned (which ran on EscapePod scififiction podcast)
• You're A Damn Fool, Charlie Brown (ran on Dawn & Drew podcast)

You also see Eusocial Networking listed on the cover -- that won't be posted to the Season 2 feed for awhile. To get that, you'll have to tune in to J.C. Hutchinsssss Obsidian feed. Deal with it!

Perry's Podcasts will also be added soon. These were podcasts created by everyone's favorit "ball-challenged" character, Perry Dawsey from INFECTED

So enjoy this new collection, Junkies. It already hit #1 at Podiobooks.com, so people are digging it!

Soupbone is backI have been informed that Dragon*Con in Atlanta will once again be graced by Soupbone the Wonder Pimp (a.k.a. Brahma Bone, a.k.a. Mr. Lovey Bone, a.k.a Phineaus James McBone IV).

The feather-boa-wearing Soupbone rarely makes public appearances, and for some reason thinks that I am his communication outlet to the world. He is throwing a party Friday, August 29 at Dragon*Con in the Hyatt. The room number, he tells me, is not yet known because "the mans" is trying to block his job placement efforts for wayward young ladies.

Last year at Dragon*Con, J.C. Hutchins and I attempted to throw a party, called "Podcast Pimps & Hoes Party." I should have known that would bring trouble, and it did, in the form of my cousin Phineaus from New Orleans. The party degenerated into a debacherous debacle. Bad things happened. Hutch won't discuss it, and he still gets the shakes when he sees a bottle of tequila. I wouldn't know, as I turned in early that evening after I read to the children at the local orphanage.

This year's party is called "Podcast Pimps & Hoes II: The Wrath of Bone" and I have nothing to do with it. Like last year's party, proper pimp, ho, thug, mobster, gangsta, and/or playa attire is strongly encouraged (and yes, there will probably be a pirate DJ again this year). Flash your grille. Hold up that jewell-encrusted chalice. Pop that sequined collar. And if you are one of those home-brew mobsters, prohibition is long dead so bring it on. 

Soupbone also wants to let all ladies know that if you are, and I quote, "interested in some sexy career oppahtumities," he will be happy to speak with you about a lucrative contractual aggrangement. 

I will be at Dragon*Con on Saturday, after Soubone has cleared out of town (or been arrested, or been shot by a jealous husband or rival pimp). 

There are some people in the world of podcast fiction who flat-out work their asses off. People like me, who absolutely refuse to quit, no matter how long it takes or how many obstacles they face. One of those blue-collar, butt-kicking authors is Mur Lafferty, author of the Heaven series and Playing for Keeps, which is out in print on August 25, 2008.

In fact, I think that Mur is an awful lot like me, just with a better rack.  For years now, Mur's "I Should Be Writing" podcast has been mandatory listening for aspiring authors. She really gets into the nitty-gritty, both talking to other writers and in exposing her own painful quest to become a pro author. If you want to be an author for fun or for profit, listen to this podcast.

Mur is also an anchor of the fiction podcasting community.  She is one of the driving forces of the Parsec Award, the Oscar of fiction podcasting (and she's friends with Matt Fucking Wallace, who wins every goddamn Parsec that comes out, so I think there's some chicanery there, but I digress ...).

And the Podcast Fiction Hottie™ is making a run at Amazon.com on August 25. I know, you've seen this strategy before -- hey, it's what we podcast authors do to stay motivated and keep kicking out your free smack. So, consider supporting Mur with a book purchase on August 25. Not only is it a great story, she's earned the right for a day in the sun. 

Plus, look at that cover ... I like to think that's Mur's rack being exposed. Which is why I'll be buying multiple copies. I'm a simple man, so sue me. 

Junkies, got to keep the weekly AMC blog going regardless of circumstances, so this week we talk about the marketing for the horror series True Blood on HBO. Yeah, more "viral" advertising, this round done by CC Chapman and The Advance Guard. Seriously, does this fake website stuff work anymore? Some of you have heard of this Chapman guy? Swing over to the blog and leave a comment.

Junkies,

In a waiting room at a hospital in Michigan. The Evil Queen™ and I have been here for five days straight. No real change on the family member's status, just wanted to let you all know to not expect any NOCTURNAL episodes any time soon. Working on CONTAGIOUS during the down times right here at the hospital. I go back to San Francisco on July 31, and might sneak out an audio or video update then. I hope you're all doing well -- take a few minutes to tell your loved ones they are loved. You never know what can happen.

-Scott-